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Four Years clean.... and then the lump ?

A month an a half ago my oncologist gave me the good news that my 4 year PET came back totally clean, NED No Evidence of Disease. Then he proceeded to do a visual check anyway with the ever pleasant larengoscopy tube all the way up my nose and down to my throat:) Unpleasant but I've been through a lot worse :))) At the time of the visit i had, what i thought was a tiny cold sore on the roof of my mouth, which i told him was probably from the cold i was getting over. He looked at it briefly but i discounted it, and he didn't seem concerned. Now it's 45 days later and it's definitely not a cold sore, but now a little lump that has grown since then. No pain, just worrisome enough, that, I immediately made an appointment this morning to see him this thursday. So as i've said before, you just never know. This C cloud always shadows you. I'm just hoping right now, it's not the "Return of the Occult Primary" (unknown primary) that I initially had. Probably nothing, but still, I damn know it could be, so ain't wasting a second getting it checked out :) As we all know to well, cancer waits for no one. Jacques Nemo Me Impune Lacessit "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only is the only choice you have."
Scottie sent you a prayer.
Heidi sent you a hug.
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I hear ya. Its good to get it checked out just in case. Hope all is well. :)
I hear yeah. Just got back from my check up. I sit there holding my breath wondering what he is going to say. I wonder if that ever goes away.
 Jill good news I hope!!! My visit happens next Monday after results from today's CT. Finished my drink but waiting for scan. Here we go
 Hi Jill, I don't think the 'looking over your shoulder' part ever does go away. We all here started out journeys with something pretty innocent sounding. A soar throat, a lump, a headache, or whatever. And then doctor drops the bomb on you with the diagnosis. We come to realize we are mortals blessed with limited time. I haven't spent the last four years waiting for the other shoe to drop, and the hell i went though was worth even just an extra four years :) Yet I do feel like every six months I'm meeting with the :PETscan -Parole Officers" wondering if they will announce my freedom or sentence me to another cancer incarceration. :) Hugs and thanks for all you do! God bless you! Jacques
 Not for me.
Hi Jacques. Will post later as im in line for my ct !!! Sorry you have to deal with this. You are right. Cancer doesn't GO, it HIDES. I pray it's only an abscess that's benign. The fact that it doesn't hurt is a good sign. Later
Jacques likes this comment
Good to hear from you Louise! Keepin' my prayers for your CT results! Jacques
Just said a prayer and I will continue till I hear back, I usually take an ativan when I have to hear anything.Seems to take the edge off.
Louise likes this comment
 Thanks Sabina :) Yeah, we are blessed with good meds that keep us cool and collected. But you know, nothing compares to the first time, Cause you are new to this whole world and the hell you go through. After that you remain positive, but always a bit weary that it is always hanging over your head. If for some twist of fate it becomes a round two, then I already know what a nasty battle can be like. So for now, no 'real' worries :)!!!
Ct is done. Thank god cause I'm getting pretty crusty not having my morning fix of java!!!
Joyce In NC likes this comment
 When will you know the results? I will be praying for you, my friend.
Monday is results day. Sure everything is ok. BUT he made an appt. for a blood specialist when I saw him in April and that happens in Nov. Don't know what to make of that one. I have bone pain but I put that down to the meds. Hope you are ok. today. Any new news. Are you a member over at the WARRIORS? There are bunch of us who off shot over there. It's a lot of fun. Come join if you like Instant messaging.
I understand your anxiety about this and have had a lump in my mouth as well where he did a biopsy and everything was ok. He acutally took the lump in the biopsy, it was between a pea size and the size of a dime by the time he did it. It is so stressful and am hoping it is nothing serious for you! Curios though, knowing that you and I have a similar history being bitten by a tick shortly before being diagnosed with cancer, do you or have you seen a LLMD? I see one still at least once a year as Lyme disease can show up years after the fact and can "mimic" other ailments, including cancer! If this lump is not cancer related I susgest you get the proper blood work redone for Lyme disease. I have my blood work sent to a lab in California which still seems to be the only true Lyme disease testing place in N. America! Such a shame in this day in age that this disease is still so terribly political! Not trying todiagnose anyone but just feel caution is better then not. As for the wonderful saying that I have seen on here and elsewhere numerous times I think they are words we all live by especially after cancer! “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only is the only choice you have.” Be strong and I will be praying that this is just a nothing "stress glitch"on your radar screen! Good Luck Val
 Hi Val, Thanks for your kind words. Yes I've had a complete tick lymes and all its lovely other related disease tests and get them yearly. I am regular tick food as I live in the pine barrens area of Long Island which is infested with these minuscule monsters! :) So the lump ain't tick related. Could be nothing, but certainly could be something. So I'm headed straight for the oncologist on thursday morning to check it out. Hugs, Jacques
 That's tomorrow!!! Please let us know what the Onc. reports. I'm sure this will not be cancer, I just feel that it's one of those crop up things that go with cancer. I have had skin problems since taking drugs for breast cancer. I think, why isn't this going away? All I get is cream for it. hmmmm You never know. Good luck
PS Even though my blood work has always been negative to Lyme disease I did have a very bad "Bullseye Rash" so that is why my LLMD is so careful and insistant that I see him at least yearly for checkup and bloodwork. But that is a whole different blog :)))
Jacques-- I hope and pray that this is nothing sinister. It's very good that you are getting it checked out and taking no chances. I have had back pain for a week now and those little "what-ifs" are creeping into my mind now and then. That's what cancer does to us--I just hate it! Before C, I would have just walked it off. Stay strong, think positive, and know that there are many good thoughts and prayers being sent your way. Please let us know what you find out. Hugs-- Martha
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You bet I let you know how it goes :) And yes i ain't taking any chances. As for strong. This journey has made be stronger than I ever knew I could be. The person who I was 4 years ago would not recognize the me today :) Hugs, Jacques
I am glad you made the appt to have it checked instead of waiting for it to go away. I hope it is not cancer. Hugs and prayers, Sandyjo
Jacques likes this comment
Hi Jacques:) Janice just had a similar scare. It seems that the radiated mouth/throat is prone to all sorts of odd ulcers and nodules. I am reaasured by your normal PET scan. I know they miss some things, but not something you could actually see? So, I have a benign feeling about this, but you are right to biopsy it so you can forget it!!! Darn, Darn, Darn, xxoo Karen
Oh man. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I so get what you are saying. I'm 5 years out from breast cancer, and this Thursday will be my 1 year since dx with tonsil cancer. tomorrow I have a CT in the morning, and the ENT in the afternoon. I dont always get scanxiety, but I definitely have it this time. Keep us posted - wishing you "unremarkable" news. :)
Karen likes this comment
 Hi Karen, Thanks so much, I'm overwhelmed by all the wonderful support that is here. That's why after 4 years I still visit it regularly. Thanks for the unremarkable news wish:) Probably will be. But I am at peace with whatever cards God deals me. Good luck with your CT. This C keeps us all humble, yet strong. Hugs, Jacques
 Wow, you've gone two rounds. Good luck tomorrow with the CT. You're a veteran. Nothing they can tell you that you haven't experienced before. You are in my prayers as well. Jacques
 CJ; Not sure if we have met on here before, but I too am 5 years since breast cancer diagnosis. What do they attribute your cancer mets to the tonsil. I didn't know it worked like that. I thought breast would either go to bone, brain or ovary? Guess you have proven that wrong. You say it's been a year. What are you taking in the way of meds? Do you take Arimidex and or anything else? Just curious.
 Hi Louise. No, this cancer is a new primary and not at all related to my previous cancer. As for breast cancer, I was a triple negative, which means that I do not receive any meds after chemo and rads. Congrats to you on 5 years. It's a big milestone for us. Hugs! CJ
Jacques, I know what you mean. If you have ever had cancer, you can't help but think twice about every little bump or anything unusual. It is always best to get everything checked out just in case. I pray that it is not cancer. I had a sore on my right wrist that just wouldn't heal. I tried all kinds of creams. It would scab over and I would think it was healing but it never did. The dermatologist said it was a skin cancer. I know everyone says that skin cancer isn't anything to worry about. However, after having cancer twice before, any cancer at all worries me a little. I will be praying for good news about this new little lump. Hang in there and keep fighting. Hugs, Joyce
 Hi my dear, I just saw your comment to Jacques, dah. Anyway when did this happen and what are you doing about it? You scare me girl. I agree every little scab that doesn't heal or a lump/bump is cause to worry and of course, we as humans are pretty capable of worrying. I hope you are o.k. Sending love your way.
Lifting you up in prayer, Jacques. You are such a light to this group. Let us know as soon as you know something. Scottie
Karen likes this comment
Jacques; What happened on Thursday? I am worrying. Just a quick rundown here is fine.
 Hi Scottie, Thanks so much for your kind words. I don;'t feel worthy of your praise. I just try to document my journey, in the hope some who follow will find some comfort or understanding regarding their own plight. Regarding my lump, I saw my oncologist on Thursday. He looked at my lump on the roof of my mouth and told me to see my ENT surgeon. So i called him immediately right from his office. Friday, the next day at 10am, I saw Dr. Scarborough, who proceeded to ram a garden hose up my nose and do a laragonscopy. First he numbed me out with a spray.and fished that baby all the way down to my throat. I'm pretty used to it by now. So he rescheduled me for a biopsy at 1:40pm later the same day. So I went back and he numbed me out and sliced out the lump for analysis. No pain. Just relief that this thing is getting tested. I should get the answer back this week. For now, I won't waste time worrying until i get the results. Hugs to all, Jacques
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Vital Info

Posts

March 23, 2008

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aim:jacques9990

Hampton Bays, New York 11946

June 11, 1959

Cancer Fighter

Cancer Info

Throat Cancer

Metastatic Squamous Cell Carcinoma with Occult Primary.

February 8, 2008

5.1 - 6.0 cm

Yes

Lymph nodes on neck.

Stony Brook University Hospital. Department of Radiology

You never know how strong you are, until strong is the only choice you have left.

June 4, 2008

Swollen lymph node on the right side of my neck. Post surgery, official classification TX, N2b, M0

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