Jacques Ditte's Cancer Blog
3rd Year Post Radiation
Hi everyone,
I’ve been wanting to post for a while, but haven’t been sure what to say. Meanwhile I’ve been reading the posts of so many of you who are in the midst of daily battles. Every week I see another friend who has lost their valiant battle to the big C.
Martha who is in the fight of her life and recent got some good news, found the time to send me a Happy birthday post. So here is a quick update which will be a quick reflection and outlook of life.
On Saturday I will turn 52! Last week, June 4th was the ‘third anniversary of my last radiation treatment”. I was 48 back when i first got diagnosed and went through a heck of a year in cancer bootcamp.
From the first day i learned i had cancer, the ensuing surgeries and radiation treatments, the long road to recovery and regaining my strength, and the semi annual PET Scans, it has been a fascinating journey in both the physical and spiritual sense.
Along the way so many fellow cancer fighters were invaluable inspirations to help me in my days of need. Knowing you’re not alone, having a voice that will listen, and knowing that there is always someone out there in an even more dire predicament than your own, are all invaluable in this battle.
So physically, i feel pretty darn good. Up to now, my PET scans have all come back clean. My three year PETscan is scheduled for August.
I terms of side effects. First my saliva has continued to marginally improve over the last 3 years. Even the last few months there has been some tangible improvement. The saliva in the front of my mouth (i.e. around my teeth and tongue is still slightly thick. If i keep my mouth shut
Where i still have not really improved is the salivary glands in the back of my throat. That’s the saliva that helps the food go down and makes swallowing easy. I think that pretty much will stay that way. The IMRT radiation zapped me there the hardest, so i guess i’ll live with that reality. Workarounds are greasy foods, lots of liquids, especially immediately after each bite of food. Bread is awful to swallow, unless is slobbered with butter, as it sucks up the moisture in my mouth like a sponge.
One of the controversial treatments that i underwent was getting daily “Amaphostine” injections before the IMRT radiation. This stuff protects your salivary glands from the radiation. The side effect is that Amaphostine is tough to tolerate as it makes you incredibly nauseous and requires chemo grade anti nausea meds need to be taken to combat this.
I was able to handle Amaphostine for about 15 of the 30 treatments. Better than nothing, however I believe, that my salivary glands were spared more severe damage thanks to the Amaphostine.
Many doctors shy away from the use of this because of the tough-to-take side effects. When I consulted before starting treatment, Sloan Kettering didn’t want to give it to me and wanted me to have chemo as well as radiation.
My doctor who is the head of radiation oncology at Stony Brook University hospital, Dr. Alan Meek, recommended the Amaphostine, and also recommended that i try to NOT get a feeding tube. Dr. Meek was right on both counts. Stony Brook concluded that Chemo would not in my case, be marginally improving my odds.
The feeding tube decision is a biggy. I see so many of you who have it put in. The warning Dr. Meek gave me was that it becomes very difficult to regain the swallowing reflex if you go the tube route. I opted to force myself to swallow no matter how painful. Instant numbing meds like “Swish and Swallow” helped me get food and pills down.
It was a bitch, but i’m glad i did it, and weathered the storm. I’ve regained my voice and aside from the salivary issue, fatigue in the afternoon seems to linger even to this day. It seems incredible that it could have it’s tentacles reach out this far out, but “Radiation fatigue” is the only culprit i can find. I’m eternally indebted to Dr. Meek and the radiation family that greets me with open arms every time i go back for a check-up.
When all this started I was given a 60% chance of recurrence and a 28% chance of survival over 5 years.
Today i’m at year 3. If it all came back and i were to have to fight the C or die in the next year of cancer or anything else, would the hell I went through have been worth it?
Hell yeah!
These past three years have been the most enlightening of my life. I feel blessed for the time i’ve been given, the fun times i’ve had, and the understanding of our my own mortality with all it’s implications. Who am I? What I have i done with my life? How do i want to try and live out the remainder of my life?
This winter I went skiing for the first time in almost twenty years. After a couple of minutes, it all came back to me. Although not as strong as i once was, I was skiing down the slope on the first run and admiring the mountain view. I stopped midway down the hill to catch my breath and take a sip of water. I then recalled that first summer after radiation. I didn’t have the energy to even walk a block or push a lawn mower. On that mountain, I was glad to be alive and living! The hell i went through was all worth it.
I often joke that should I make it through the “5 years cancer free”, I will have “beaten cancer” and will be able to die from something else :)
Meanwhile, i am kept humble by the daily battles that are being fought. I think of Rose, who basically got diagnosed the same year I got treated for radiation. Her cancer has now returned in her tongue and she is fighting a new battle.
God bless you all. Thank you for all the encouragement, bravery and inspiration I’ve been able to get help from on this blog.
Don’t give up.
Carpe Diem.
Love to all,
Jacques
Nemo Me Impune Lacessit
I like seeing stories like yours. My husband is currently battling Stage 4 Larynx cancer, and his last radiation treatment is June 16. Good to see you made it to the other side of this monster:)
Posted on jACQUES. you know how I feel about you. Brave, positive and hornary about cancer. Thankyou for enlightening us on your journey again. It is a neverending and winding road of surprises. You have helped a lot of people who have your particular cancer. I’m so happy you have made such progress and your attitude gives all of us hope. Jacques, it’s with gratitude I say, thanks for being our friend here at BFAC. It just occured to me that I haven’t posted my comings and goings for quite a while. I guess I should do that too. Take care friend
Posted on 
Posted on 
Posted on 
Posted on 
Posted on 
Posted on 
Posted on 
Posted on 
Posted on 
Posted on 
Posted on 
Posted on 
Posted on 
